Ah, summer. The season of frozen margaritas, regrettable situationships, and every curvy person’s least favorite tradition: beach days. Don’t get me wrong — I love the beach. I live for wiggling my little toes in the sand, playing mermaids in the ocean, and binge-reading smutty fae books like it’s my full-time job. But I also hate the beach. Because here’s the thing we’re not really supposed to admit anymore: I kinda hate my body.
Am I a terrible hypocrite? Obviously. But am I also a human being trying to survive in a world that still treats flat stomachs like a moral achievement? Also yes.
Rationally, I know I should frolic freely in my tankini, soak up my youth, and stop obsessing over the stretch marks on my thighs. But emotionally? Spiritually? I’m still spiraling. Body acceptance isn’t linear, and loving your lil chub doesn’t happen overnight.
So what do we do while we’re still somewhere between “I hate my body” and “every body is a bikini body”? We fake it. We style it. We sneakily hack the system. I called in the pros and rounded up all the tips for feeling hotter, happier, and less self-conscious at the beach this summer. Styling hacks, mindset tricks, product recs — you name it.
Because we all deserve love, compassion, and yes, so many orgasms. Even if we’re still working on the loving ourselves part. Here’s how to enjoy the beach before summer comes to an end.
Xoxo,
A fellow beach babe in progress
The Internal Stuff
Remove the pressure of body positivity
Here’s the thing: telling people to love their bodies can actually do more harm than good. Body positivity isn’t one-size-fits-all. “Sometimes body positivity creates new pressures,” Dr Beth Godwin, founder of Life For Every Body, explains to Betches. “If you’re feeling body shame, trying to love your body can feel out of reach and like a failure that you can’t ‘do’ body positivity.”
So, the first tip? Don’t beat yourself up for not loving your body. No one wakes up and magically unlearns a lifetime of shame around not having a “society-approved” body. That’s like expecting someone to wake up fluent in French. Or able to lick their elbow. Give yourself permission to still be on the journey — and remember, you’re not responsible for teaching the world a body image lesson every time you put on a bikini.
“The relationship you have with your body, and how you treat it, has the biggest impact on how you feel about it,” says Nikkita Hope-Brown, founder of the women-focussed fitness studio Found. “We need to actively change the narrative and take back our power by redefining how we value and treat our bodies.” Translation? Your carefree beach day starts way before you put on a swimsuit. It starts at home.
Body image influencer Em Clarkson shared on her podcast that she does everyday things — like blow-drying her hair — naked in front of a mirror to normalize her reflection. I was terrified, but I tried it. I used to constantly avoid mirrors, and I’m trying to unlearn that habit.
Another step toward body neutrality? Gratitude. Yeah, I know — you wish your body was smaller or had bigger boobs or a Kardashian-level ass (pre-BBL removal, of course). SAME. But instead of spiraling over what it’s not, focus on what it does. My chonky lil legs help me run into the ocean and doggy paddle. My arms hold up smutty books and hug my besties.
“You don’t have to love your body to enjoy it,” Leah Van Dale, former WWE wrestler and founder of community for moms Snatch, tells Betches. “Some days, I look in the mirror and barely recognize myself — but then I remember what this body has done. It gave me my son. It’s growing another baby. It’s gotten me through heartbreak, career highs, and full-blown meltdowns. Gratitude doesn’t mean perfection — it just means realizing how badass your body is, even if you’re still figuring out how to feel about it.”
So next time you’re spiraling because your friend looks amazing in her tiny bikini, stop and thank your body — maybe with a cold iced frappe.
Clear your feed
If your Instagram is filled with Kardashians and other models at the beach, you’re going to feel like you don’t belong there. So clean your algorithms and remove the “clean girl” aesthetics, gymfluencers, or bikini try-ons that leave you feeling like garbage. Hit unfollow or mute, and actively choose to curate a hot, diverse, realistic feed. Follow bodies that look like yours — and ones that don’t but radiate joy.
Wear confidence
Yes, I just said to wear a swimsuit. And now I’m telling you to wear confidence. What is this, your birthday suit? No, babe. I’m talking about whatever you need to do to strut your stuff.
“Confidence isn’t about size; it’s about showing up like you own the beach,” says Naomi Magnus, psychotherapist and founder of North London Therapy.
Fake it ’til you make it, like a fake orgasm. (KIDDING. Kind of.)
Confidence reps
Okay, but how do you get confident? I’m not going to gaslight you into believing it happens overnight. But Soph Hughes, body confidence expert, gave Betches some “confidence reps.” Like the gym — but make it body image.
Here are some of Soph’s confidence reps:
- Leave the towel on the sunbed
- Sit in your swimsuit without covering up — 5 minutes, then 10
- Take the damn photo. Don’t delete it. You don’t have to love it. Let it exist
- Create a “Summer 2025: I Did That” list
Hype women energy
Sometimes, confidence is contagious. If you’re not feeling it yourself, borrow it from your friends. Bring people who make you laugh, remind you how hot you are, and hype you up like a drunk bridesmaid at a bachelorette party.
Create a little beach ritual: compliments all around, pick a hot girl playlist, spray each other with SPF like it’s setting spray. Confidence = communal.
If you don’t sound like you want to shag each other, are you really friends?
Ground yourself
I find it really overwhelming to be so exposed. It can be hard to enjoy myself when I’m so aware of every inch of my body on display. Can you relate? It’s easy to get stuck in your head and forget everything happening around you.
“To feel more comfortable at the beach, try focusing less on ‘flawless’ and more on how your body feels – the warmth of the sun, the texture of the sand, and the joy of movement,” Shelly Dar, a mental health specialist, tells Betches.
Dr. Godwin adds, “If you’re having a tough moment, name it: ‘I’m having a challenging body moment.’ Then gently shift your attention to your surroundings — the salt air, the laughter, the warm sand. That’s grounding.”
It’s like the classic 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can feel
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
Learn from kiddos
Don’t make a habit of staring at kids, but sneak a lil glance. So I was at the beach with my cousins’ little ones, and what amazed me most was how their daughters just sprinted about without a care in the world. They’re in their lil tankinis having a blast, not caring about tummies or the rest of it. When I feel nervous about that walk of shame from my towel to the water, I try to channel that youthful confidence.
Stop thinking so much
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!!! You need to catch yourself when you’re overthinking and stop. Nothing good comes from thinking smart ppl aren’t happy ppl!! Carrie Minter Ebers, founder of Carrie’s Pilates, put this better than I ever could:
“So if your abs are MIA and your thighs are chafing, congrats – you’re alive and just like everyone else. Don’t miss out on the good moments life has to offer because your brain is holding you back. Now slap on your SPF and cannonball into that ocean like the queen you are.”
When you feel yourself creeping into your mind, STOP. STOP. STOP. If you’re with people, explain that this might happen, and they have permission to yank you back out of your thoughts. Listen to some good vibes tunes on your AirPods—don’t be one of those assholes that makes the whole beach listen to your music.
No one is looking at you
At least once a week, I think about when a fan asked Jemima Kirke for advice to unconfident young women, and she responded: “I think you guys might be thinking about yourselves too much.” Did she play Jessa, or did Jessa play her?!
While savage, Jemima is so right. We do think about ourselves too fucking much. No one cares about us. No one left the beach and remembered me. Ppl probs walked past me, looked directly at me, and still didn’t register that I exist!!!
We are all main characters in our own heads, which means… no one is actually paying that much attention to you. They’re too busy worrying about their own insecurities.
It may sound super harsh, but in these moments, I remind myself that I’m not that important.
As Carrie says, “Ignore the voice in your head and remember everyone else is too busy thinking about themselves to judge you. Put on your favorite suit, floppy hat, and biggest sunglasses, and let’s go, babes!”
The External Stuff
Choose the right swimsuit
Okay, enough with the deep inner work — let’s get practical. Picking the right swimsuit can make a huge difference. “Wear whatever makes you feel like a 10 — bikini, cover-up, full glam, no glam, whatever,” Van Dale says.
Just to be clear: all bodies are bikini bodies, and “flattering” is a garbage word. BUT, if you’re insecure about a specific area, strategic styling can help you feel more confident.
Hiding a tummy? Try a belt or detailing at the waist — it breaks up the space and tricks the eye. Or go for a deep plunge and show off your incredible rack instead.
Want to keep the girls tucked in? Skip the string bikini and try a square-cut or halter style. Small up top? Go backless and let your shoulder blades do the flirting. She’s giving mysterious.
Most importantly, wear something that fits and feels like you. A well-fitting suit is worth the money. Skip TikTok trends. Look for celebs or influencers with a similar body type and see what they’re rocking.
“When making beach plans, choose a swimsuit that actually fits well and feels like you,” clinical psychologist Dr. Beth Godwin says. “If it’s comfortable and suits your personal style, you’re less likely to be tugging, adjusting, or hiding. That helps you focus on the memories you’re making — not how your body looks.”
Dark colors are known to be ‘slimming’ (barf), but I recommend going for something bold and fun. I feel my best self in a leopard-print bikini, and I get so many more compliments than when I hide away in a plain black swimsuit.
Fake tan, real confidence
Look, we know confidence shouldn’t depend on skin tone — but also, a little glow never hurt anyone. A streak-free fake tan can help you feel more even-toned, radiant, and a little bit main character. It’s not about being thinner; it’s about feeling sun-kissed and snatched without needing to roast in the sun like a rotisserie chicken.
If you’re feeling self-conscious in a swimsuit, a subtle bronze can give you that extra “I’m glowing, not overthinking” energy. Just exfoliate first, use a mitt (ALWAYS), and maybe skip your elbows unless you’re trying to cosplay as a Dorito.
Cute cover-up alert
Look, I know we swore we wouldn’t be like our moms in their cover-ups. But sometimes a bitch just needs a lil extra something, especially when walking past a pack of teenage girls. Cover-ups don’t have to be lame. They can serve.
Try a netted dress for a hot Vanderpump Rules vibe. Or a sarong that screams, “Yes, I did kill my rich husband. Ask me about it.”
My go-to? An oversized white button-up. I leave it open, and it makes me feel like a carefree It Girl on a cold brew run. IDC if it’s basic — it’s a vibe.
Sunscreen = Self-Love
Not a PSA — just a vibe reframe. Sunscreen isn’t about fear; it’s about reverence. Slathering your skin in SPF is a way of saying, “I care about you.” You’re not just wearing confidence — you’re protecting the hotness. Bonus: get one that smells like vacation. Instant dopamine hit.
Spend that time lathering in your body, and it can feel a little like you’re on display, but it’s also a moment of reclaiming yourself.
Beach hair, I care
Nothing kills your confidence faster than catching your reflection and realizing you look like a damp Victorian orphan. Avoid the dreaded wet rat vibe by putting a tiny bit of effort into your beach hair. We’re not talking a full Dyson blowout — just a slicked-back braid, a high bun with some claw clip action, or even a cute headscarf to tame the frizz.
A little pre-beach hair prep can go a long way in making you feel polished, put-together, and way less self-conscious. Plus, when your hair looks intentional, it tricks people (and yourself) into thinking the rest of the look is, too.
Fix the chafe
Shout out to the thicc-thighed girlies who know the pain of summer chafe. I used to plan entire outfits around bike shorts — and forget the beach, I was miserable.
Enter: anti-chafe creams. LIFE-CHANGING.
Tips:
- Apply liberally before you leave the house
- Bring a stick-style one with you for touch-ups
- Dab yourself dry before reapplying
- Men’s products are often cheaper and just as good (hello, pink tax rage)
Reduce the sweat
Not to generalize, but I’m a sweaty Lexapro girlie and proud. If sweating makes you feel more self-conscious, I get it.
Options? Botox. It temporarily blocks the nerves that trigger sweat glands. It’s FDA-approved and lasts a few months. Some people say the sweat “moves elsewhere,” but it’s an option worth exploring.
If you don’t want to go that far, consider the plethora of anti-sweat tools at your disposal.
Big hats or sunnies
Distraction mode. Want to instantly look hotter and less anxious? Throw on a giant pair of sunglasses or a wide-brimmed hat. It’s giving incognito celeb. It’s giving “I’m mysterious and too busy to spiral about my body right now.” Bonus: they’re also practical! You’re shielding your face from sun damage and hiding that panicked look you get when a group of terrifying teenage girls walks by.
Whether it’s a floppy hat, a retro visor, or sunglasses so big they touch your cheekbones, this kind of accessory says: I came to slay, not self-sabotage.
No photos
Yes, life is precious, and yes, we love memories. But if you’re going to spend the whole day panicking that someone will snap a bikini pic and toss it on Instagram without warning — just set the boundary.
Tell your friends you want a no-photos day. That’s valid. Anyone who pushes back? Doesn’t deserve your company (or your SPF recs).
Hydration = Hot Girl Fuel
Staying hydrated reduces bloating, helps with energy, and keeps your skin glowing. Is it revolutionary? No. But half the reason we feel “off” in the heat is because we’re running on iced coffee and vibes. Chug some water. Your confidence (and your bowels) will thank you.
Hot Girl Exit Strategy
You don’t have to stay at the beach all day. If the vibes are off, you’re melting, or your intrusive thoughts are screaming — leave. You can just… go. You’re a hot girl with a plan, and sometimes, that plan is to get a cold Diet Coke and blast the AC in your car. Honor it.
Screw sunshine guilt. Sometimes, I want to be at home watching Gilmore Girls.