If you thought dating in the real world was bad, imagine just opting out entirely and falling in love with a fictional character instead. No awkward small talk, no ghosting, no “wyd?” texts at 2 a.m. — just pure, undying devotion to someone who literally cannot hurt you (because, hi, they don’t exist). Enter fictosexuality — aka, the reason your TBR list has been making you horny AF lately.
“Fictosexuality refers to being exclusively attracted to fictional characters rather than real people,” psychologist and relationship expert at dating app Flure, Leah Levi, tells Betches. “It often falls under the asexual or aromantic spectrum, though not everyone who identifies as ecosexual is asexual.”
At first glance, it might sound like something straight out of a TLC show or a niche Reddit deep dive, but it’s actually a legit identity for people who prefer relationships with fictional characters. And honestly? Given the state of modern dating, it’s understandable.
While sure, we all reached for our favorite vibrators when reading Fifty Shades for the first time, fictosexuality isn’t just about having a crush on Edward Cullen circa 2008 or feeling things for Rhysand from ACOMAF every time he so much as takes a breath — it’s deeper than that. “Fictional characters are full of intensity, unspoken longing, and even some mystery, which can be very appealing,” Levi explains.
So, is fictosexuality the next frontier of romance, or just another sign that we’ve given up on humanity? Let’s unpack what it really means, why people identify this way, and whether your high school obsession with Draco Malfoy counts.
What is fictosexuality?
Obvi fictosexuality means you’re attracted to a fictional person, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you get tingly watching Aladdin run around in his little vest or wanna hook up with Xaden Riorson every other chapter (but it doesn’t not mean that either, ya feel?).
At a very basic level, someone is fictosexual when they experience exclusive romantic or sexual attraction to fictional characters. “Fictosexuality doesn’t always involve physical attraction or even a desire for a real-world partner,” Levi explains, which is why it can intersect with the asexual spectrum. In fact, many fictosexual people experience deep emotional connections to characters without necessarily desiring physical intimacy.
And yeah, some people just straight-up want to have hot, nasty sex with characters they’ll only ever meet in the pages of a book. For them, Levi says it can be a balancing act when it comes to feeling sexually satisfied IRL (but more on that later).
Why do we fall for fictional characters?
Sometimes, we ignore our IRL partners for our book boyfriends/girlfriends or getting emotionally wrecked over someone who doesn’t exist. I mean, fictional characters are literally designed to be irresistible. They’re dripping with intensity, deep emotional wounds, and just enough mystery to keep you coming back for more. No awkward first dates, no bad Hinge openers, no risk of getting ghosted (unless that’s part of their tragic backstory, ofc).
“They’re figures who allow us to project our own ideals and desires in a safe, almost private way, without the complications of real-life relationships,” Levi explains. “These characters exist in a curated, heightened reality, often stripped of mundane or unromantic qualities, allowing readers to indulge in a powerful fantasy of love or longing that feels safe yet deeply emotional.” Our literary lovers aren’t out here leaving the toilet seat up or farting in bed, ya know?
And let’s be real — predictability is hot. Unlike real-life relationships, which can be messy and full of compromises, fictional ones offer a controlled, dependable source of connection. “Fictional characters can’t let us down, challenge us in unexpected ways, or leave us,” Levi points out. Even when bad shit happens, it’s not happening to us — and the ability to flip a few pages forward or back to see how it all plays out? That’s a level of control real life will never give us.
Can fictosexuality harm your non-fictional relationship(s)?
Loving a fictional character isn’t inherently a problem (because who among us hasn’t fallen for a well-written bad boy with a heart of gold?), but could it actually mess with your real-life relationships? Short answer: It depends.
If you’re fully fictosexual — meaning your attraction exists exclusively within the world of fiction — then this probably isn’t really an issue. You’re likely not seeking a real-life connection, so there’s nothing to “harm” in the first place. But if you also desire IRL relationships, that’s where things can get complicated.
“If someone’s emotional fulfillment primarily comes from fictional characters, real-life relationships might feel a bit lacking,” Levi explains. “It’s helpful for them to maintain awareness that these fictional bonds can complement real relationships but shouldn’t replace genuine human intimacy.”
Fictional love interests tend to be intense, deeply understanding, and passionately devoted — qualities that aren’t always (or ever?) the norm in real life. “Fictional characters are often tailored to meet an idealized form of romance, full of qualities we all seek but rarely find in such a perfect package,” Levi says.
That’s where things can get tricky. “While enjoying these portrayals is fine, they can sometimes set unrealistic standards. We might start comparing real people unfavorably, thinking, ‘Why aren’t they as intense?’ or ‘Why don’t they yearn for me like that character would?'” Levi explains.
The TL;DR is that if you (and your real-life partner, if applicable) are happy and fulfilled, there’s no issue. But if fictional attraction starts making real-life relationships feel unsatisfying (like, if you’d rather read than spend time with your IRL partner every single time), it might be worth exploring what’s missing — whether that’s having an open conversation with your partner about emotional needs, seeking out relationships that align more with what excites you, or even just recognizing that real-life love won’t always come with a perfectly crafted character arc.
How can fictosexuality help your non-fictional relationship(s)?
Good news: Falling for fictional characters isn’t just about escaping reality — it can actually make your real-life relationships better. Who knew your book boyfriend/girlfriend/chaotic situationship could be doing you a favor?
For starters, fictosexuality can spice up your sex life by giving you a safe space to explore fantasies and desires without judgment. Crushing on fictional characters can help you figure out what turns you on, making it easier to communicate your needs with a partner. Levi notes that fiction can also boost creativity in the bedroom — whether that’s inspiring role-play, introducing kinks, or easing anxiety around sex — making intimacy feel more exciting and natural. Basically, your literary crush might just be the best wingman Kindle can buy.
Beyond the physical, fiction can also give you a reality check on your emotional needs. Ever fallen for a fictional character and realized, oh, so that’s what I want from a partner? Same. Fictional attraction can make it clearer what you’re actually looking for in a relationship — whether that’s more emotional depth, better communication, or simply a partner who remembers your coffee order. “Many people strike a balance, finding that fiction can actually enhance their life by giving them a source of comfort, inspiration, or even self-discovery that they bring back to their real-world relationships,” Levi says.
Of course, there’s a fine line between escapism and avoidance. If fictional relationships start making real-life ones feel dull, that’s when it’s time for a vibe check. But as long as your fantasy world is making your reality better — not replacing it — you’re good.
Okay, who are some popular fictional people to date?
If you’ve ever fallen for a fictional character, congrats — you’re in great company. If you’re in the market for a new literary obsession, here are some of the most crush-worthy book characters that have had readers down bad for years:
- Rhysand (A Court of Thorns and Roses) — A morally gray, wingspan-flexing flirt who treats devotion like a competitive sport.
- Xaden Riorson (Fourth Wing) — Romantasy at its finest with a dragon-riding, emotionally tortured bad boy with trust issues and exactly one (1) soft spot.
- Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows) — Thinks eye contact is flirting and would rather commit a felony than admit he has feelings.
- Alex Claremont-Diaz (Red, White & Royal Blue) — The First Son of the United States with main character energy, political aspirations, and absolutely no chill.
- Clay Collins (Tryst Six Venom) — A rich, mean girl with a soft spot she’d rather die than admit to, proving that enemies-to-lovers hits just as hard in sapphic stories.
- Sean Bell (Flock) — The golden retriever energy in a world of tortured, brooding bad boys. Would 100% ruin your life, but at least you’d have fun while he did it.
So unless you’re fully plotting your escape to a fantasy realm, fictosexual attraction is usually just a fun, low-stakes way to explore emotions and desires. Honestly, whether it’s a casual book crush or something deeper, falling for a fictional character isn’t all that different from real life— just with fewer unread texts.
As someone who’s extensively covered relationship trends on usacouples.com, I’ve seen how fictional characters can provide both an escape and a mirror to our own relationship desires. Whether you’re team Rhysand or still carrying a torch for an entirely different fictional heartthrob, embracing this aspect of your romantic imagination might just lead to more fulfilling connections—both on and off the page.
