Nikki Glaser, the Taylor Swift of roasting, is making history tonight as the first-ever solo female host of the Golden Globes. Now, I’m not sure why TF we had to wait until 2025 for this milestone, but it’s a huge deal nonetheless. You probably know Nikki from her viral Tom Brady Netflix roast, her iconic Comedy Central roasts of Alec Baldwin and Rob Lowe, or perhaps you know her from Swift Tok — the comedian famously spent “close to $100,000” on Eras Tour ticketsand attended 22 shows. I love this for her and if I had $100k to spare, I would absolutely also spend it on concerts.
When Nikki was announced as the host of the 2025 Golden Globes, fans were quick to assume that she’d treat the award show like a roast. After all, she’s famous for her epic one-liner burns like “Jule is here… or as I call her, Trailer Swift,” “Ann Coulter has written 11 books, 12 if you count Mein Kampf,” and that time she called Peyton Manning “the Tom Brady of commercials.”
But during a December 2024 appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Nikki spoke about the major gig and revealed that she’s approaching the Golden Globes with a touch of caution. She explained that it’s a “delicate balance” because celebs in the crowd aren’t paying her thousands of dollars to be roasted. “I’ll give the audience at home what they want,” she promised, “but the audience at home is not gonna laugh if I bomb in the room.”
Realistically, it would be challenging to not top last year’s host, comedian Jo Koy, who definitely offended people. You may recall Chelsea Handler’s ex bombed, made cringe sexist jokes, and started blaming the writers in the middle of his set. It was a tough watch.
As a fan of Nikki and feminism, I’m loving watching this icon show everybody how it’s done. As expected, she’s navigating the balance of roasts and lighthearted jokes gorgeously… Without further ado, here’s my ranking of Nikki Glaser’s best jokes at the 2025 Golden Globes.
Ranking Nikki Glaser’s Best Jokes At The 2025 Golden Globes
- “You all are so powerful. You could really do anything… except tell the country who to vote for. We’ll get ‘em next time. If there is a next time. I’m scared. Ariana, hold my finger!” (pans to Ariana reaching out)
- “The Bear, Baby Reindeer… these are not just things in RFK’s freezer.”
- “Zendaya, you were incredible in Dune. I woke up for all of your scenes. And Challengers! That movie was more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card.”
- “Glen, you’re in everything. Twisters, Hit Man, my head when I’m having sex with my boyfriend. I’ll see ya tonight!
- “Welcome to The Golden Globes, Ozempic’s biggest night!”
- Her gorgeous rendition/invention of “Pope-ular” (“Popular” x Conclave)
- “If you’re a woman over 50 in a lead role, they call it a comeback. If you’re a guy over 50 in a lead role, congratulations! You’re about to play Sydney Sweeney’s boyfriend.”
- “Tonight we celebrate the best of film and hold space for television.”
