Long before she was Lois Lane on TV’s Lois & Clark and before she played Susan Mayer on Desperate Housewives for eight years that garnered her a Golden Globe, three Screen Actors Guild Awards and a legion of fans, Teri Hatcher was a former NFL Cheerleader for the San Francisco 49ers.
Born in Palo Alto, California, Teri studied acting at the American Conservatory Theater in San Francisco and ventured south to support a friend who was attending a casting call. As Hollywood legend would have it, Teri—with her good looks and athletic appeal—won the role of a singing and dancing mermaid on The Love Boat in 1977.
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Then 27 years later, she landed the starring role of the megahit Desperate Housewives, which made Teri a household name.
Now Teri, who just turned 60, is starring in Lifetime’s holiday movie, How To Fall In Love by Christmas, as Nora Winters, CEO of her own lifestyle brand who finds herself in a tight spot when her company’s future hangs in the balance. Unlike her stressed-out character, Teri proves her own life is calm, happy and filled with gratitude, and don’t miss her as our FIRST for Women cover girl (get your copy here)! Here, she tells all in an exclusive Q&A.
FIRST for Women: You’ve said that you encouraged everyone to try and learn something new. What new things have you learned that make you feel alive?
Teri Hatcher: I’m learning French right now and using the Duolingo app; that’s been going very well. It was something I kind of picked up and then not picked up over the years, but lately, for whatever reason, the universe has brought me kind of a contingency of four or five French people who I love and adore. Some lifelong friends have just bought a home in Montreal and they’re learning French. But the real catalyst of this is I have this little cat named Fig and she’s really the love of my life.
She’s one of those cats who isn’t the type to sit in your lap all the time. Everything is on her own terms, but the one time she will come cuddle with me is when Duolingo makes sounds. It has my French learning going up exponentially because I go to bed, turn the Duolingo app on and my cat leaps onto my chest and just lays there when I learn Duolingo. Sometimes I’ll do it for an hour because I’m just so excited to have the cat cuddle with me on my chest.
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FFW: On December 8th you turned 60—what have you learned about yourself?
TH: Aging is a real interesting process in that you can start with the idea that everybody above ground has a gift, so you know that you’re either aging or you’re dead. The jumping-off point for me has to be gratitude because you’re here and as long as you’re here, you have an opportunity to make whatever you want out of your life or your perception of your life. That is where you have the control. You don’t really have control of whether you’re aging or not.
My dad has dementia and both my parents are 89 years old, and I take care of both of them. I’m an only child and that takes a lot of my time. One of the things I’ve witnessed with my dad along with a lot of memory loss and confusion, he still thinks he’s 65. This is a thing we think, that our minds are telling us we’re younger than we are and then we have society that’s offering us choices about plastic surgery or whatever kind of drugs that can maybe make you look like you’re not as old as you are.
So we can really get into this delusion and I guess I have had this struggle—not struggle, but I’m curious about what is the best benefit and approach for me. And I can’t speak for other people but for me, it seems to be concentrating on the gratitude and the joy that everyday can offer and what I can find and make out of it combined with mindful, responsible, accountable behavior to behave in a way that is going to allow me to have longevity.
FFW: What is most important to you now?
TH: I don’t care what I really look like in the sixties, but I do care whether or not I can climb up an 8-mile hike of a mountain, and that’s something I have done in the past. I’ve climbed Machu Picchu, I’ve done a 60-mile hike along the southern coast of Cornwall, England. These are things that bring me a lot of joy and I don’t want those opportunities to go away just because I’m 70 or 80 years old.
So when I go to the gym and work out or decide to pass on wine or when I make sure I get sleep at night or when I make healthy choices, it’s less about what dress size I’m wearing and more about the division of what is my longevity. We get to a certain age and there’s a bit of enticement to feel like you’re done. No, you’re not! You’re starting anew so you have to keep your mind and body physically prepared.
FFW: With the holidays approaching, do you feel more gratitude this time of year?
TH: Oh no. Gratitude is around all year. That’s an everyday practice for sure. You have to recognize that this day could be your last, so you have to have gratitude for just being alive. To be given this life, you’re sort of obligated to live it and enjoy it.
But I love the holidays and most of my fans know from following my Instagram over the years that I build this incredible Christmas town on top of the grand piano, I do a lot of baking, a lot of decorating and I have a lot of parties. I’m not particularly religious, but for me, it’s this time of year to be mindful about sharing joy. Sharing time with friends. One of the traditional parties I have in mid-December is called a Cookie Cocktail party. People bring cookies or desserts and I supply the cocktails and there’s music. It’s really not that fancy–it’s really about people hanging out and connecting. I feel that’s what the holiday time–from Halloween through Thanksgiving and of course, Christmas—offers.
FFW: What traditions do you most enjoy from years past?
TH: The Christmas house on top of my piano is one of my favorites that I do every year and it’s one of my fun traditions. I’m a big Lego fan and so I also have a couple of Lego-type gingerbread houses that I put together and make certain decoration pieces that I put around the house.
And of course, the Christmas tree. On Christmas Eve, I have, for decades, about 20-30 people that have been coming every year for a sit-down dinner and that blends into a white elephant exchange. It lasts all Christmas Eve night. So that’s a lot of cooking, a lot of prep, a lot of settings that I always do. Those are my biggest traditions for the holidays. Oh, and I also watch Elf five or six times over the holidays when I’m decorating. It’s always on in the background.
FFW: Do you get a little stressed out over the holidays with food prepping, decorating and buying presents?
TH: Not really. A lot of our stress–holidays or whatever—can be self-induced. Some of that has to do with not giving yourself enough time to accomplish something or expecting a result that you really don’t have a right to expect. In regards to Christmas, I think it’s all about time management. But it’s also remembering that it’s fun! Your life should be fun. So, it’s time management and also the perception that I’m not going to let this bother me. That’s how I sort of approach it. I try to keep stress out of the holidays.
FFW: How do you relieve stress?
TH: In general, relieving stress has to do with your perception of it in the beginning. What I’m trying to say is maybe you’re stopping the process before you even get to the stress. So meditation and mindfulness—I don’t meditate by sitting down and closing my eyes, but I do think in a meditative way, being mindful of my thoughts and I understand that I have a choice about my thoughts and what the result of my thoughts will make me feel one way or another.
Exercise is also a good way to change your mood too. Music–I think we should all add a lot of music into our lives. Music is a really uplifting mood changer. Oh, and cold showers! They can really shake off something that really is getting to you.
FFW: Nora, your character in How To Fall In Love By Christmas, finds herself in a tight spot and anxious, so she attempts to save her business through a partnership with a dating app. What drew you to this project?
TH: I love the flaws and the struggles in characters and I think Nora is a woman throughout the movie who has used work and success and ambition as a bit of a wall to protect her heart. Even though I think she’s a very warm and loving person, I think she has that journey to work through. Through work and herself, I think she learns to trust another person and that she can open herself up. I think it’s a heartwarming holiday theme to feel like you can open up yourself to trust and that we can open up to love. That would probably be the window into Nora that I found empowering and charming.
FFW: What advice would you give your younger self?
TH: Treasure what you have, while you continue to grow, instead of always feeling less than. You are enough–know that! I’m still telling myself that. I like that! I try to behave that way and I don’t know that I’m 100% successful, but that is definitely the goal. I do feel that the most happiness would come from that place, for sure.
