Five lesbian couples walk into a Netflix show… and promptly break up. What follows is eight weeks of emotional chaos, finger-pointing (literally), and more red flags than a frat party. Welcome to The Ultimatum: Queer Love — aka the greatest show on Earth. It’s all the delicious drama of reality TV, supercharged by the high-stakes intensity of queer relationships. Couples swapped partners, swapped cities, and, in some cases, just swapped attachment styles. So, which of these couples made it to the other side? Let’s scissor this shit and find out before Season 2 drops later this month on June 25. Happy Pride!
Xander Boger and Vanessa Papa
I’m not going to make a joke about the surname “Boger,” but please know I’m showing tremendous restraint.
Xander gave Vanessa the ultimatum, and Vanessa responded by gleefully leaping headfirst into the singles pool. She dated both Lexi and her original partner Rae — don’t say throuple, don’t say throuple — until Lexi lost her damn mind and shut that down.
That was the moment the fandom villainized Vanessa, and honestly, we’re still not entirely sure how we feel about it. Vanessa and Rae got a lil handsy (hi, FingerGate), and meanwhile, Xander connected with Yoly — like, deeply connected. We’re talking whispered confessions of love while their actual partners were across the room. Iconic and deranged!
At the end of the show, Xander and Vanessa called it quits after four years. Post-show, Vanessa said they tried again, but Xander was allegedly still talking to Yoly and planning a trip with her?? Yeah… that didn’t go over well. They no longer follow each other on socials, and in sapphic breakup terms, that’s basically scorched earth.
Lexi Goldberg and Raelyn Cheung-Sutton
So, remember the Vanessa and Rae drama? Yeah, this is the other half of the sapphic square.
Lexi matched with Mal during the trial marriage, and while it was very above board and respectful, it definitely lacked the FingerGate spice. At the end of the show, Lexi and Rae still got engaged despite every red flag, every screaming match, and every “we’re not really compatible” moment.
At the reunion, filmed a year later, they gushed about wedding planning — only for a dramatic producer update to announce their breakup right after. It gave Love Is Blind-level chaos.
Rae told Entertainment Weekly they realized they were growing apart. Lexi, in true Type-A fashion, said watching the show to prep for the reunion made it clear their problems were never really resolved.
Lexi has since rebranded as a brunette with tattoos, joined Netflix’s Battle Camp, and is now engaged (again!) to Kristin “Zanc” Zancanelli as of March 2024. They moved to NYC together in October 2024, and yes, they’re disgustingly cute.
Rae, meanwhile, moved to L.A. and started dating talent manager Caitlin Kearney.
Yoly Rojas and Mal Wright
Ah, yes, the emotional tug-of-war between Yoly and Xander. What is the chemistry between those two? Electric. Problematic? Absolutely.
Despite Yoly’s intense feelings for Xander, she accepts Mal’s proposal at the end of the show. Spoiler: it did not last. By the time the reunion aired, they were already broken up, and we all collectively said, “Yeah, that tracks.”
As far as we know, Yoly and Xander never officially dated post-show. However, Yoly soft-launched a new boo, Domenick Flores, in November 2023 — and they’re still going strong.
Mal, meanwhile, remains besties with Lexi (we love a healthy post-show friendship) and is now dating pole dancer/absolute icon Sammy Picone. Sammy gives strong Chappell Roan energy, and we’re here for it.
Mildred Bustillo and Tiff Der
Oof. Just… oof.
This relationship was already on shaky ground from the jump, with huge fights over parenting roles, communication, and finances. Still, somehow, they got engaged during the trial marriages.
But post-show? Total disaster. They moved in together briefly, but it ended in an explosive fight that led to Mildred’s arrest. At the reunion, Tiff had to sit across from the partner they said had been abusive — something the show was heavily criticized for. Mildred blamed Tiff for calling the cops on her after she threw a dog gate at them…
So yeah. Very much not together, and thank god for that.
Sam Mark and Aussie Chau
And now: the lone survivors. The only couple from The Ultimatum: Queer Love still going strong. (Apparently, ultimatums work if you’re the one person in the cast who communicates??)
Sam gave Aussie the ultimatum, and things got rocky from the start. Aussie, bless them, had commitment issues and a tendency to bolt mid-convo. Aussie paired with Mildred briefly, while Sam tried something with… Tiff? Honestly, that whole trial phase was a blur.
Eventually, Aussie came running back to Sam. They got engaged at the end of the show — cue all of us blinking in disbelief — and somehow, they were still together at the reunion.
More shockingly? THEY’RE STILL ENGAGED. They are not married yet, but hey, they moved to Washington together in January 2024 and seem genuinely happy. They even have a joint Instagram (couple name: Saussie, which is somehow… kinda cute?) and recreate engagement photos like it’s their full-time job.
Out of five engagements, only one couple is still together. That’s a 20% success rate, or as we like to call it: “Netflix Reality Average.” Someone book a U-Haul.
