Nikki Glaser promised she wouldn’t roast anyone during her 2025 Golden Globes opening monologue—but if you’ve ever seen Glaser in action, you knew that wouldn’t happen. What followed was a 10-minute comedic takedown of Hollywood’s finest, filled with sharp one-liners, fearless jabs, and humour that had the audience alternately cringing and laughing.
Here’s a breakdown of the night’s funniest and most brutal moments from Glaser’s unforgettable monologue.
Nikki Glaser’s Hollywood Zingers
Right from the start, Nikki set the tone with her signature wit.
“Wicked, Queer, Nightbitch: these are not just words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms; these are some of the incredible movies nominated tonight,” she quipped, introducing the year’s standout films.
She didn’t stop there, turning her sights on the television nominees:
“The Bear, The Penguin, Baby Reindeer: These are not just things found in RFK’s freezer; these are TV shows nominated tonight.”
The audience roared with laughter, while some stars couldn’t help but nervously glance at the cameras.
Nobody Was Safe
Glaser’s humor spared no one, from Hollywood legends to rising stars,
- Martin Short: “And Martin Short is here… because we have cameras!”
- Timothée Chalamet: “You have the most gorgeous eyelashes… on your upper lip!”
Fans of Glaser’s infamous Tom Brady roast knew to expect this level of no-holds-barred comedy, and she delivered in spades.
Why Nikki Glaser’s Monologue Stood Out
What made Glaser’s monologue particularly memorable was her ability to balance humor with genuine celebration of the nominees. While her jabs were biting, they were delivered with a sense of playful irreverence that set the tone for the evening.
Her jokes highlighted the absurdities of Hollywood without overshadowing the achievements of the night’s honorees, striking the perfect balance between roast and reverence.
What’s Next?
If Nikki Glaser’s monologue left you in stitches, the rest of the 2025 Golden Globes didn’t disappoint either. From heartfelt speeches to surprising wins, it was a night to remember.
Full List of Winners
Check out our dedicated coverage here for a comprehensive rundown of all the 2025 Golden Globe winners.
Final Thoughts
Nikki Glaser’s Golden Globes monologue proved that she’s not just a comedian—she’s a force to be reckoned with. Her fearless humor and razor-sharp wit set the stage for a night of laughter, glamour, and celebration.
What was your favorite joke from Nikki’s monologue? Let us know in the comments below,
